Three years ago I believed whites and blacks were equal in the United States. I believed that slavery was abolished and racism went both ways. I disagreed with affirmative action and I thought black people who didn’t make it out didn’t want to make it out.
I was so very wrong.
Today my heart is…
I’m like high from being productive and talking to friends
And ugh please noooo. All my feelings are so fucking fucked up and I don’t feel sad as often as I thought I would but when I am feeling sad its like extreme sadness. And I don’t appreciate the people I love like I want to and the only time I feel motivated at all is late at night and it is tied in to how fucking sad I get at this time.
How do people fall asleep before 2am? I can’t ever stop thinking about the most horrible things on my mind and all of my fears and my worst anxieties and I try to take a deep breath and tell myself it will all be okay but I just know I won’t fall asleep till 4 and I will be exhausted all of the next day and I will spend tomorrow night doing the same thing.